rude awakening

I was, in fact, rudely awoken by some commotion in the kitchen. I sat up to yell at Hans, but realized that there were not one, but TWO distraught furry things in the kitchen. One of course, was Hans, the other, a squirrel. It seems as though the kitchen window, with the gap of 2 1/2 inches was enough to allow a curious squirrel to trap itself whole-heartedly in my humble abode. Luckily though, he was gracious enough to accept the exit I prepared for him, through the (only) fully functioning window in the bathroom, and luckily I was able to close the door for a few moments for him to regain composure and take his leave.

I should have been prepared for this when a rather large beetle made his way into my apartment last night, of course exciting Hans who wanted nothing better than to fly up the lamp and knock everything over in his path. I saw the fire ablaze in his eyes and held him hostage while I shooed the little guy into a cup and again, out the bathroom window.

THEREFORE: I have made a list of things that are *NOT* allowed in the apartment. I understand that posting such a list, with visual aids, on the internet may help with such issues in the future.

1: NO SQUIRRELS
2: NO BEETLES (sorry, but for Hans' health's sake)
3: NO MOSQUITOES
4: NO FLIES
5: NO WASTING FOOD
Okay well the last one is sort of all my fault, but it's certainly harder than it should be.

Anyhoo, if I ever update this list, you'll be the first to know. And if I ever have a need to add mice and cockroaches, there will be some serious repercussions.

I started watching LOST last night, thanks to my realization that Netflix has like, the whole thing on Instant View. Oh no, here goes the next 6 months...